Charter's Adventures In Phone Service

I'm going to allow people to judge this for themselves. You can tell me in your comments if you think this is the level of service we should expect from a land phone line provider.

This is the online dialog between myself and customer support representative:

Thank you for choosing Charter Chat Live! A Customer Care representative from Telephone Support will be with you shortly.
You have been connected to TTM Beth .
TTM Beth : Hello, my name is Beth. Welcome to the Charter. How may I help you today?
Todd Novak: My phone modem is down and we were supposed to have the number forwarded to our cell but it seems to not be working..
TTM Beth : I understand your concern with the phone service. I would be more than happy to help you with this issue. May I ask whom I am speaking with please?
Todd Novak: It's still giving a busy signal when people try to call. This is Todd Novak.
TTM Beth : Thank you Mr Novak. May I have the telephone number and full name listed on your billing account as well as the full address at which you reside?
Todd Novak: xxx.xxx.xxxx
Todd Novak: Todd Merrick Novak
Todd Novak: xxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxx, xxxxxxx, xx xxxxx
TTM Beth : Thank you, can you verify the security code found on the front of your Charter bill? It is located in the upper right hand corner and is 4 digits long.
Todd Novak: xxxx
TTM Beth : Thank you. How did you set up the call forwarding feature. Did you set up unconditional or regular call forwarding?
Todd Novak: I don't know. I was talking to the phone support people and he told me a technician wouldn't be by until tomorrow so I asked if my calls could be forwarded.
Todd Novak: He did say I would have to call again to end that service when things were running.
TTM Beth : One moment please.
Todd Novak: The cell phone I would like my calls to be forwarded to is (xxx) xxx-xxxx
TTM Beth : Thank you for waiting, I'm sorry but it takes between 24 to 72 hours for this to be set up.
Todd Novak: So basically I have to go that long or until the technician gets here tomorrow for my phone to stop giving people busy signals? That can't be right...
Todd Novak: I can't afford to have my phone number out of service that long...
TTM Beth : I am sorry but we will have a technician out tomorrow.
Todd Novak: No, I had this problem before and my number was forwarded without any problem right away.
TTM Beth : I will request this be set up but it can take between 24-72 hour for completion. I will send the form now.
Todd Novak: Can I have the direct phone number to the department that handles that service?
TTM Beth : No, I'm sorry there isn't a direct line, I will send them a form via email.
Todd Novak: Someone there has a phone. I would like someone to contact me within an hour.
TTM Beth : I can not guarantee they will call you but I will submit this request. What number can you be reached at?
Todd Novak: xxx.xxx.xxxx
Todd Novak: This is very important. I'm am expecting critical calls today.
Todd Novak: Is there a voice mail service that calls can go to?
TTM Beth : I understand and will submit this request, no there isn't anything else we can do at this time. I am sorry.
Todd Novak: Tell your managers that they need to work on that or they will not keep customers. Phone service is not internet or cable tv. Lives can depend on it!
TTM Beth : I understand, that is why we do send a technician out within 24 hours. Is there anything else?
Todd Novak: No.
TTM Beth : I see that you have the Unlimited Long Distance Package with 10 features which is a great choice. I do want to let you know that we offer 3 way calling in your area. This would enable you to talk with 2 of your friends or family at the same time. Would you like to add that to your account today?
Todd Novak: This probably isn't the best time to try to sell me on an upgrade.
TTM Beth : I certainly understand. Thanks.
TTM Beth : I would like you to know about an exciting new program we are now offering! Live it with Charter is a free program which offers members an opportunity to earn points per dollar spent on Charter products or services. Save your points and earn great prizes such as Charter services, enter sweepstakes or even trips and other large prizes. It is very easy to register for the program. Just log on to www.liveitwithcharter.com and sign up today and start earning those points.
TTM Beth : I will notate your account of our chat today about . Thank you for entrusting me with your concerns. For all other Charter inquiries please call 1-888-438-2427. You may visit our website anytime at www.charter.net to manage your account, make payments as well as review all our wonderful products.
If you require further assistance, go to www.charter.com/contact
Your session has ended. You may now close this window.


I did receive that call within the hour and my number was forwarded to the cell from that point on. So I guess the moral to the story is, be persistent and a little bit of a pain in the ass!

Looking Forward... With Hope

A Moment for Hope

When I started this blog it was my intention to avoid politics. It wasn't a superficial or callow decision. I had put more of myself into the 2004 election than I had to give and the results left me disheartened and cynical, not only about that election, but about what was possible in politics. I have often found myself tempted the last few months, to use this blog to chime in but I've managed to resist the urge. However, I did come to understand that when this election ended I would use this space to voice my after thought. I had thought that, that afterthought, would a commentary about the dirt in politics. But November 4th was a transformative moment, for the nation, and for myself. I have been inspired, by my fellow citizens whom have joined with me to make history, and by this amazing leader whom has made his case by talking directly to us, and, by example, has reminded us about the best side of ourselves. I am, in general, a cynic. I don't believe in believing in politicians. But I do believe in Obama. We don't know exactly what we are going to get from him, but what we've seen is that he is poised, sober, and very very thoughtful and brilliant. I believe we are going to have a leader, and one that is dynamic enough to modify his positions to find solutions that work.

Obama wasn't elected because he was black, but he wasn't elected despite it either. It's not that Obama isn't a brother, it's that he's a brother to all of us. We are all in this together, and not just because we're stuck together, but because we are brothers and sisters. We are not going to find that Obama is the perfect politician, and we are not going to see the end of real world problems. We need to not make the mistake, as they did in the 60s, that we're on the verge of The Age Of Aquarius. But at the same time, we really need to take this moment forward with us. We have grown up believing this wasn't possible and I don't believe as a nation we were ready to move this forward this fast, not only to elect an African American to the presidency, but one with a Muslim name. It has given a reason for the last eight years. But most of all, it shows us that this particular man is more than his race and his name. He is a truly remarkable, brilliant man, who has the ability to assess the situations in front of him, work though a strategy, and effectively communicates his message in a way that enagages, captivates, and inspires, the people he makes his case to. His message is inclusive, and it is an example for all of us.

It has been my desire to leave my daughters a world where they have every opportunity I've had to reach their full potential, and have a healthy, happy life. We have been given a lot of reasons to be afraid. Those reasons are not suddenly gone and there will always be threats. But we have taken a huge step in a day. We have sent a message to the world that we truly are what we claimed to be and I believe we are immediately safer because of that. My daughters, too young to understand what's happening now, will never fully understand what a truly historic moment this is. They will take for granted that there was a time in our history that you could only be a white upper class male in America, if you wanted to be president. And I'm glad about that. I will teach them about the progress of this moment, just as I was taught about the civil rights movement of the 1960s. But for them it will be history.

For today, there is reason for hope. And that is something I have not dared to do in a long time. I finally believe my children have a chance for the future I want to leave them.



The Future For Republicans

Take this for what you will. I am not a Republican but I am not so foolish to think that we have seen the last of Republican power. I believe in a balance of power and I can accept that there are needs for checks and balances. What's would be good for Republicans politically is also what will be good for all of us when Republicans do carry power again, which is for the party to become less divisive, and more pragmatic.

The reason Obama won isn't because we know exactly what kind of policies he will give us but because he was calm and poised under pressure, and that he showed respect for the other side. He has been inclusive and promised to be the president of all people, and not just the people whom voted for him. There is a stark difference there to what we got from Bush.

What will the new Republicans be? Will it be about sticking it to liberals, something Obama isn't doing towards conservatives? Because, like the world with globalization, America is changing. A generation is passing and the America that is dawning is not divided with red and blue borders. The liberal is a son or brother to a conservative. The gay or lesbian is a co-worker. Insulting, attacking, and disenfranchising the other side is no longer the winning formula. And it lacks character and dignity.

Obama won because he was positive. He won because he didn't scare people, he made them feel more confident. Obama could not have won without independents and even without some conservatives. The generations are continuing to turn and the country is going to become more comfortable with change as it happens. If Republicans want to tap into that energy, they need to get beyond "liberals suck". Because, though we disagree, it doesn't mean we have to be enemies.

Isabella Suzanne Novak Rules Irish Fest!

08/16/2008 - At the Milwaukee Summerfest ground four year old Isabella Novak shows off her stuff after only six classes with the Cashel Dennehy Irish Dance School. She gets a cool little cameo but the real fun begins when she's cutting loose off stage!

It's not for the hardcore. This is a little girl having fun. She's been excited about getting on stage for a couple of months now and we're really thankful to Cashel Dennehy and Irish Fest for giving a little girl the chance to strut her stuff in front of a few hundred people.

Standing up for Speed Racer The Movie

Some people are enamored with words. Reviewers are often some of these people. Their job after all is to write. Writing a review might not be the same calibur of art than writing something to be reviewed, but if it's what you do, you might feel the need to flex your muscles. I, however, feel that the most important thing about writing is communicating a thought or idea clearly and often the more "artistic" the review, the more confused I become about what the writer is trying to communicate. As a reader I'm not really interested in what intellectual arsenal the writer might be trying to show off. I'm interested in what I get out out of it.

The movie Speed Racer has been ripped apart by critics and for sure, this is not a movie for everyone. But it worked for me and not because of all the special effects or action sequences, but because of the very basic, almost universal morals and values of the movie, and about how clear and genuine it is in communicating those values. We live in an era obsessed with deconstructionism, and we've come to expect our media to be more sophisticated and more abstract. But deconstructionism is nothing new, and frankly, it's become overused and often is unoriginal and cliched.

Speed Racer, however, reminds me of the movies I grew up with in the early and mid 1980s. It reflects a clarity of values (and not in a right wing political sense), where a hero takes a stand against a corrupt institution. There is the theme of the odds being stacked against the hero, the hero's idealism questioned, and then rediscovered in a more mature, less dogmatic, and more aware sense. There is a value to this kind of movie for kids, as well as for adults like myself who need to be reminded. It isn't a complicated message and it's quite opaque, but it is relevant and at least it isn't pseudo intellectual posturing. No, life is never this simple and it rarely works itself out so neatly. But when we can escape into the heroes of fiction we take something out of the story that adds to our lives.

I've seen a couple old episodes of the classic cartoon but don't really know much about the Speed Racer story. I'm sure hardcore fans might have legitimate reason to complain that something might be missing from the continuity. It seemed to me, from what I do know, that the essential story is there, but it cuts to the chase. The cartoon had that anime iconography and what the critics are complaining about regarding the manic visuals is the very literal way it is interpreted to film. For me this movie, not unlike Sin City, helped me see the source material for what I discounted the first time around. This is geek kitsch and there might be any number of reasons why it didn't speak to it's critics. And maybe the the most important one is, it wasn't for them. It might be a cliche, but the right one one; this is a movie for the young at heart.

Remember when Republicans hated commies and only bought American?

It's kind of hard to imagine Ronald Reagan sending business to the U.S.S.R.? But maybe he would have if the Soviets had a couple of billion union-free laborers willing to make make American Girl Dolls on the cheap. Of course, if he did, the Soviets probably wouldn't have gone broke and probably wouldn't have collapsed. For some reason it's okay to do business with totalitarian regimes when it keeps the prices lower.

Of course, the U.S.'s current economic problems couldn't have anything to do with the idea that money and jobs are being shipped out of the country, by the barrel loads, to people who don't spend a cent on U.S. products.

It's kind of hard to imagine Teddy Roosevelt selling out Americans, that he had done so much to protect, to nations that don't recognize the basic rights for workers that he had fought to make law.

What happened to old Jack Arnold who lost buddies in the Korean war and would rip a new one to anyone with a touch of red?

What happened to the Republicans?

They still have their American Flags held up high, never mind that made in China sticker stitched in the corner.

Tina Fey - The Sexiest Woman on TV

Okay, after a week where absolutely nothing good happened and I couldn't crack a smile even once, I figure it's a good idea for me to post a tacky, cheesy, worthless, and utterly fun topic. I know that I'm not the only straight male who feels this way; Tina Fey is the hottest woman on TV.

First off, lets break down the stereotypes of what men want in a woman. Most of us plateau on playboy by the time we're thirteen. And while I'm certainly not against big boobs, there's something bizarre when they defy gravity. So we all have our own kinks that get to us. Well, Tina Fey is the ultimate woman and here's why:

Brunette - I don't know who came up with the idea that blondes were sexier, but it's bogus. Darker hair is more exotic, more sophisticated, and makes women more mysterious.

Dark Rimmed Glasses - Come on, you know that it worked for Lisa Loeb. Nerdy glasses make a woman sexier. There is nothing sexier than the sexy nerd, whether it be the librarian, the school teacher, or the executive.

M.I.L.F. - Every schoolboy has the fantasy of the teacher who takes advantage of them. EVERY SINGLE ONE! There's not one guy out there who will deny that without lying. Women between 35 and 45 are the perfect age, supposedly prudish, but a sexpot behind closed doors (or so we'd like to believe).

Smart - Smart girls are more intimidating than dumb girls. They're more interesting, more challenging, and more fun!

Neurotic - This is the Yang to Smart's Yin. Vulnerability is sexy. Women have us by the balls. That doesn't mean they should act entitled. Cockiness is tiring and arrogance is unsatisfying. While Guys like to be challenged they don't want women who are inaccessible. Women who act a little insecure are easier to talk to. They're down to earth. So while we very much do want to "hit that", the complete package is someone you can sit and gab and gab and gab with.

Funny - Seriously, like life is not serious enough! Humor is more laid back, more accessible, and just plain needed for making it through this life.

Creative - The Woman is brilliant! Creative women have more passion and are more interesting.

She's Hot - I mean, come on, duh! She's got a cute face, a hot body. It's not the only thing, but we are men after all.


Now you may wonder why a married man like myself can get away with everything I've written above. The answer to that question is two words.

Ashton Kutcher

So if my wife is reading this and fuming at me, as soon she got to those two words she knew I had her. She's nodding her head "yep". That's right, and it's not just my wife. It's all our wives. Ashton Kutcher has brought out the dog in the women of this world. They just can't help but get all hot and bothered at the mere mention of the guy. And we would be threatened except he's a total himbo. I don't think he's a dumb guy but he has this non-threatening childlike persona. You kind of just want to squeeze his cheek and pat him on the head. Even when you catch him sneaking out of your bedroom in the middle of the day.


So there you have it Hollywood, you heard it here first. If you want the ultimate on screen chemistry, Tina Fey and Ashton Kutcher are your pair. The hot librarian and the boy toy. Now, there's a totally worthless and utterly enjoyable movie concept. Just make sure it's Fey writing the script.

BEAN: Interdimensional Mercenary - Now Available For Download

This is material that I did about ten years ago now (with a few modern edits). I wasn't sure if I was going to make it available because it doesn't reflect the current quality of my work. It also contains some personal reflection of a person that is longer me. But I've decided that it was always going to own me to some degree if I didn't set it out there.

Be aware, it contains some strong language.
Conservatives be warned, contains some pretty liberal commentary.

So anyway, here it is, available for download.
All contents are ©Todd Merrick Novak (me).

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